Types of German Love
Germans are said to love their cars more than their wives and it is true that there is a lot of prejudice against women drivers which makes German men shake hands with the Saudis who believe by law that women should not be allowed to drive. But this might have been an old stereotype had not the Germans themselves admitted that the car is their favorite child “das deutsche liebstes Kind”. There is at least some truth in this when you consider the German car industry and see how German men live practically more in their garages than in their homes. Not much time is left for the sweet German wife and German women are forced to leave to a more charming Italian chef whose first obsession is blonde curvaceous women with round backsides “sedere et potere” literally “the power in the backside.

But don’t despair if you are married to a German. Germans, as always, are able to go to extremes by saying “Meine Frau ist mein Hobby” literally “my wife is my hobby i.e. my passion”. However, this type of love is extremely dangerous because it shows obsession, addiction and subordination; for this way of love does not leave much room for the partner to breathe. This was often said by men from the so called old generation to show their deep love to their dear wives. I mean, the generation of the former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl. By the way whenever people said “das macht Kohl auch nicht fett” I thought this poor Chancellor, who was the hub of jokes, was meant by that. But at least he was an ardent lover of his beloved fatherland (homeland) taking into account German tourist obsession with Mallorca, the 17th German state, and German disposition to quickly say farewell to fatherland. Sometimes, you wonder how they can turn their backs to the dearly loved fatherland after all the “Aufbau” (building up) and “Wirtschaftswunder” (economic miracle) after the war.

Unfortunately German love ends when money is involved “beim Geld hört die Freundschaft auf” and might even turn into hate in divorce. This might be attributed to the fact that “ich liebe Dich” is not as forceful and romantic as the English “I love you” or the French “j’taime”. Indeed this makes a lawyer’s job the most profitable in Germany.

Dr. Jamshid Ibrahim
Bremen – Germany


Perp walk?

Is this some kind of nitpicking depiction of emotionally handcuffed Germans when it comes to romantic love?

(Ecstatically unromantic critters, aren’t they?)

A perp walk for the German lackluster, a literary mug shot of the not so bon-vivant German pathos?

As Brooke put it, “Love can be sordid only if you work at it.” That includes a linguistic approach in the shape of a reaction-formation (a defensive process by which an unacceptable impulse is mastered by hypertrophy of the opposing tendency).

Isn’t it enlightening, though, that sometimes we need to go to the opposite side of the world to recognize assumptions that we didn't even know we had - and to realize that the opposite may also be true ?!

This analysis appears to hold some truth…

But then again, look who’s talking