The Test Results
I said to the doctor: you can take as much blood as you need. I don’t care much about the test results. Then I thought of what she said: How can I return what you said if you closed the door behind yourself? Somebody asked me whether I loved my wife and I answered: This is a difficult if not a personal question. No, of course I do but I missed trains so I kept bleeding them dry. Stop it I said many times it doesn’t make sense anymore.

She said she left the text dedicated to her on her desk for one year and often cried. Then she plucked up courage and wrote a letter. That’s why I sent her perfume and a second text dedicated to her. She didn’t react. What an odd man he couldn’t even pick up the phone and say something? Maybe he didn’t want to destroy her and his own marriage. Please don’t stir the water under bridge if you have already fallen. Swim to the other bank or drown it with you, he thought.

Farewell, Babette I will try to forget. A life with you was not granted. I was afraid I wouldn’t have been a match or I wouldn’t have met your expectations. Maybe I didn’t want to disappoint you but I will never stop loving you because nothing between us could change it now.

Jamshid
Bremen. 14 July 2009