The Dress
I haven’t still forgotten it. I promised to buy her a dress. Not all memories of childhood come back like that but she is ingrained in my memory, cannot be deleted, a passion cannot be extinguished. I still remember I was fascinated by her strong personality and her humour. True it was a time when only men had a say but she was a big exception. I don’t know why and how a deep feeling started in me and why it has not left me all my life. I used to watch with admiration the way she was telling her husband off. He was a spinner and there was always a lot of cotton in their house. Of course I didn’t know her well or see her often but I still wanted her to take my mother’s place. She lived in a very poor house with her husband and son. This strong and strange feeling persisted but I never found the courage to tell her or anybody else about it. Unfortunately we moved house to a place miles away.

Shortly after I started my studies and during a visit my feet led me to her house. She was greatly surprised to see me pay her a visit. Without any hesitation I promised: I will buy you a dress the moment I start earning money. She was overjoyed and kept telling everyone about it even long after I left. She kept saying repeatedly: he said he’ll buy me a dress. Suddenly I felt an urge to do more but I was afraid my family would find it odd if I spent much money - on a woman not in the least related to us. I haven’t still forgotten it and it keeps returning, leaving my mind no peace. No, I have brought shame on me for I haven’t kept my promise and I know it is too late now. Rest in peace mother, here is the dress I promised.

This text is dedicated to Haysha Jujki, my second mother. She was one of the few strong personality women who lived in a poor house with her son Hasan and her husband Jujik. She was known as Haysha Jujki. I felt it even as a child that I was her son who she didn't give birth to. The image shows Haysha Jujki with her son Hasan