Family Fare

It was the first year of my job. I was unmarried but good looking. This must have been true for whenever I took the bus to work girls kept focusing me with their beautiful eyes. But I was rather shy to speak to any of them. The degree of my shyness rose with the degree of a girl’s beauty. I didn’t like my job either although it was one of the highly coveted and well-paid. One day one of my many aunts who had a lot of daughters approached me and said: Now my dear you are a man with a good job and money what you really need is a wife. What do you think? I said thanks aunt I just want to wait a bit. You know I am too young. She said: Ok but don’t forget keep it in the family.

After one year my mother came to me and said: Son you are a man now with a well-paid job you haven’t mentioned getting married so far. Is there a problem? I said: No Mother there is no problem but I would like to wait a bit. She said: Oh no Son you must settle down to family life. You will miss a golden opportunity and the train if you wait too long. You know the rich family we exchange visits with? They have a very nice daughter. Like you she is a university graduate. What do you think shall we go to her house and arrange a marriage? I gave in and said: Ok Mother do it. After one week she came to me and said: Don’t worry Son you can have a much better wife.

Two years later a little nice man in our office approached me one day and said: you look like an actor, have a good job, people like you but what is missing now is a wife. Well I said I haven’t found one so far and it is too early I think. He said: No problem you know the girl in our department. She is a beauty and has a very influential father, like you she is unmarried why not propose to her? Well, I said I don’t know I am shy about it and she might not…. He said: No problem we will do it for you. Some days later he came to me and said: She apologizes she has no intention of getting married now. She really likes you and hopes you don’t take it to heart.

Five years later the degree of my shyness became much more critical and I couldn’t look girls in the eye any more. Every look sent my blood pressure to its highest degree, got me into a state and made my heart beat faster. I left home and rented my own flat in a city faraway. The landlady lived on the ground floor, her daughter on the first floor and me on the top floor. She was like a mother to me and I started calling her mother. That made her daughter jealous and hostile to me. One day she came to me and said: My son you never go out after work. How are you supposed to find a girlfriend like that? Well, I said it is not easy to find the right one and I am afraid I first need to do a language course. She said: No you don’t need a language course. What you need is a girlfriend. Don’t worry you will learn it from her. She will be your living dictionary. Besides, all of them speak at least a little bit of English. I know some nice girls in our neighbourhood. Shall I give your phone number to a few of them? Well, with a heavy heart I plucked up courage and said: OK I don’t mind.

A week later my phone kept ringing in the evenings. Unfortunately communication was difficult but my landlady helped me with picking the right one. She was a mother to an eight-month old son. When I met her she said: I don’t believe in getting married any more. It is only a piece of paper you get from the registry office.

Jamshid
Bremen, 28 July 2007