This title is a literal translation from German but it certainly does not apply to all Germans. In fact Germans are rather peaceful and friendly and sometimes even too friendly but this is no surprise taking the German history into consideration. However, this forgiving German trait changes abruptly to its extreme opposite end if you are the unlucky one to be their neighbor.

German neighborly problems are indeed legendary and the lawyers have been doing well in this poor country for there is no hope to talk to your neighbor about a problem. Learn to go to the lawyer immediately, otherwise nothing happens. The only problem is the German law particularly those regulations dealing with neighborly problems are first extremely complicated to understand because there is no logic in them and second if you do happen to understand they will make a mountain out of a mole hill with your problem.

You will find your German neighbor try all means to make life difficult for you. Noise might not top the list but turning you to a mental wreck or even stealing precious centimeters of your small garden particularly if you live in a small terraced house certainly come first on their agenda even if they are practicing Christians. They are usually very skilled at finding a variety of reasons for behaving so oddly. Often, they are more rude to female neighbors and do not take their requests seriously. This guarantees killing all kinds of communication with them from the start.

When it is summer you will often see your middle-aged neighbor with his tall and heavy Germanic body in tight shorts flashing his red and bulging beer frame in all directions at people and boasting about his tan while grilling in the garden kilos of Bratwurst, Schweinewürst, Blutwürst, Weißwurst a few sorts of millions of sausages eaten in nearly all households in Germany. The sausage and beer belong to the basics and are practically available 24/7 a week in every corner that’s why when the Germans say “I don’t care/mind” they say “es ist mir Wurst” literally meaning “it is as unimportant as Wurst to me” although sausage plays such an important role in their life.. But it is not only stealing your land, grilling in summer or blowing their nose noisily and disgustingly every now and then and everywhere be it at the dining table or not for when your German neighbor has a garage of his own you will find him day and night inside eating Wurst, drinking beer with his friends, laughing out loudly, listening to some loud German muzak and playing Doppelkof (kind of card game) or repairing cars outside as a kind of black extra income to avoid paying tax in addition to blocking the pavement and turning the street into a garage.

Dr. Jamshid Ibrahim
Bremen - Germany