The Man’s Heart and Stomach

It was lunch time on Sunday, and the weekend was slowly coming to an end. As usual, his wife was preparing lunch and he was sitting on the sofa doing something on the computer. She called him over to the dining table to eat his salad. He was now eating and complaining how the same routines come and go over and over : “Another weekend is over, tomorrow we have to go to work again and we go on and on like the devil until no energy is left in us” he said with a sigh in a monotonous voice. His eyes lit up then as if he had just discovered something important and he said: “You know what” he added, “there is a wooden box which looks like a coffin in the basement ready for us to rest inside. Let’s go and finish the job now!”

A few minutes later, the rest of the food was ready. It was fried chicken with fried potatoes. He praised his wife for her culinary skills and ate until he was full. He put one hand on his stomach and with the other threw raw onions on his wife’s plate saying: You know I like eating raw onions with my food but these Spanish onions you bought are hotter than the hottest pepperoni. He was quiet for a moment, but after he laid the knife and fork on his plate he raised his head again and looked at his wife angrily and shouted: You have managed again to make me full. I am not going to let that go on forever.

He was quiet once more but then he suddenly picked up the knife and fork from his plate and hit his wife wherever he could reach her. She fell on the floor bleeding, but then she grabbed the frying pan and hit him as hard as she could in his face. He fell on his knees but soon turned to hit back. She was quick and hit him between his legs. She was afraid he might recover and revenge himself so she took the big kitchen knife and stabbed him in his chest many times.

“Yes, you mentioned it” she said, “the coffin in the basement”. She dragged him downstairs, opened the coffin and put him inside on his back. She hurried to the dining room opened the fridge and took out whatever food she found inside. The raw onions were still on her plate on the dining table. She grabbed them and dashed to the basement. She looked down at him; she hit him with the raw onions and then whispered into his ears: Now you can eat them until you are full. She then covered him with the rest of food and said: I know it didn’t work for me, but you know well there is no way back.

Bremen, 10 January 2010